Here at vsnb we’re all for opinions, in fact, you can say we’re really into them. Like “Hey let’s get married!” into them. However the opinions expressed below are not ours and belong to the awesome contributor. As this is a space for ideas and dialogue sharing – if you do not agree feel free to leave a comment, tweet us, heck! Even write yourself a gnarly response piece. In short, the words below are not necessarily gospel but they may be to the person writing them. So let’s begin this idea exchange shall we…
My parents were born and raised in Nigeria, a country that is wealthy in ways other countries are not but still bares its own suffering and pain. Growing up in a place where education is a luxury, you become robbed of the ability to dream. Who can I be if I don’t have any means to get there? Is what is commonly felt. Add that to illness sweeping houses in and out and no means of proper health care to prolong anyone’s life, what mentality do you adopt? For my parents it’s to do things out of necessity not passion. I will take this job because I need money not because I enjoy it.
Coming to England doesn’t really change a thing, when you are working class sometimes it feels like the same struggle but different setting. This mentality does not shift and when you have children you push this belief onto them. Music and writing is where my happiness stems from; to even imagine a life where these things cease to exist, is a world I want no role in. My parents from the beginning attempted to deter me from having any desire to pursue a career that was not stable. Any aspiring writer, singer, musician, artist or traveller knows that these jobs at times, bring unstable incomes.
For my parents who have jobs that are not what they enjoy but what keeps food on the table, they just couldn’t understand. Why pursue a career as flimsy as music when you have go to a Russell Group University and have a concrete career?
When you are young every thing your parents do that isn’t what you want, you are sure it is out of bitterness or hate. This would be emphasised to me when I would see my peers with parents encouraging their children to do whatever was possible to follow their dreams. Did my parents not care about my happiness? Did they care more about the faces of their friends when they told them I got an A in Science?
I also wondered and still do now, if parents realise the resentment that builds up in a child who feels robbed of something due to their parents? But then for a parent who grew up in a filled with struggle, who do they resent? Now, I’ve come to understand that though some things appear coated in hate, inside it holds love. Understand your parents and understand why life works in some ways for you and other ways other.
Life is too short and unpredictable to spend even a second of your life working day and night somewhere that only satisfies your bills but supply fulfilment. Don’t do what your parents want you to do and carry all that resentment, go do what makes you happy in all the ways that are possible for you.
Prove to them why you are who you are.
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